Posts Tagged: Illustration

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April is National Welding Month.

In an effort to raise awareness of the months of the year, I have taken it upon myself to design postcards to inform the public about lesser known national holidays. Welcome to The Month Of The Month Club!

Your nation needs you! Even as you read this, our enemies amass at our borders trying to destroy our honest, American way of life. Some may come disguised as tourists. Others as travelers “just passing through to Canada.” But we all know why they’re really here. They’re trying to steal all of those high-paying, so simple an idiot can do ‘em American jobs that we’re always telling other countries about. Sure, we may have told a few little white lies to make ourselves sound cooler to South America, but those guys look up to us and will believe anything. But then they told their friends and they told a bunch of people and before you know, all of Eastern Europe is crashing on our couch for “a few more weeks at most.”

So now we don’t have any jobs and even more people that need them. How do we get ourselves out of this pickle? The answer is simple: Robots. I know that idea sounds almost as ludicrous as opening a magic wand factory but let’s think about this practically. Robots are a real growth industry. Everyone wants a robot. Robots are the future according to movies and TV. Plus, you can program robots to do all the boring stuff that we don’t want to do like defend our borders against foreigners that don’t know how to build and maintain robots. So let’s do this!

If you need a job and have a basic grasp of advanced robotics, you may be eligible for a career in:

Robot Manufacturing

Robot Programming

Scrap Metal Acquisition

Nuts and Bolt Sorting

Robot Psychology/Diagnostics

Human-Cyborg Relations

or get your degree in Business Management or Robo-Accounting

What does all of this have to do with National Welding Month? If you’re asking that question, then maybe you don’t deserve your own robot at all. Go back to Russia (which is known for it’s lackluster robotics industry)!

For more of the month of the month, visit the Matthew K Fanclub!

Photo Set

In an effort to raise awareness of the months of the year, I have taken it upon myself to design postcards to inform the public about lesser known national holidays. Welcome to The Month Of The Month Club!

March is a month that people go nuts over. Unfortunately, this is because many are driven mad by the erratic temperatures changes, pollen-related itchiness and daylight savings adjustments that attack the human body like a perfect storm during the third month of the year. Officials estimate that roughly 16% of Americans succumbs to this so-called “spring fever” and won’t survive to see the summer.

Luckily, the National Peanut Council has a solution! Eating as few as three peanuts a day for the entire month would provide enough protein and nutrients to help even the weakest among us to survive one of the longest and vacationless months of the year. This horrific nation tragedy could finally be put behind us.

However, convincing Americans to do anything is nearly impossible. So rather than pay for some big flashy campaign to get people eating peanuts, the National Peanut Council simply started putting peanuts into everything! If you eat candy, peanuts will probably be there reinforcing your immune system. If you use shampoos, makeups or cremes, peanuts might just be there to revitalize your skin and scalp. If you go to a concert, peanuts could be there filling your lungs with refreshing fog machine smoke to keep you alert and aware of your surroundings. In the interest of public health, I have created this helpful visual reference card to inform and educate the public. No matter where you are, a peanut is probably not far away.

Thanks to the mighty peanut and peanut-related products, now only the mere .6% of the population who suffer from a peanut allergy will succumb to the various illnesses that only the peanut can cure. Consequently, that segment of the population should probably consider leaving the country during March.

For more of the month of the month, visit the Matthew K Fanclub!

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Blast off to Adventure!

In an effort to prove the moon landing was not a hoax, Max Ledger, NASA’s Chief Executive Travel Agent launched this poster campaign attempting to generate interest in the newly-created Lunar Tourism market.

He had his work cut out for him though. Astronauts’ photos and films transmitted back to Earth showed a desolate, boring wasteland without any of the attractions, concessions or facilities that American tourists had come to expect from their vacation destinations.

The hefty price tag, a shortage of child size spacesuits and the sudden rise in popularity of Martian casinos ultimately forced NASA to discontinue the Lunar tours. The Moon is now used for long-term parking and storage.

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Part of my new poster campaign to reform the public image of hobos everywhere across this great land!